June 1

0 comments

On Creating More Intimacy

(with yourself and others)

How was your day? he asked.

Good, I reply. 

What was good about it? he said.

I paused for a minute, scanning my day.

What was good about it?… hmmm… I worked out, I talked to my brother and my dad, I studied, I worked on one of my projects…

What did you study? he asked.

I am figuring out how to offer this free gift to my community online, and how to … and I continued to explain in detail what the class was about, and what exactly I learned. By the end of the explanation, I took a deep breath in and felt rather proud of all the things I managed to do today. I felt productive, and with a sense of pride, I projected that he must feel good too about how productive my day was.

I was glad he asked what was good about it, but there was a feeling of frustration that I was feeling. It wasn’t until later in the car, driving to run yet another errand, that it all made sense.

I was driving and this piece of black metal was resting on the passenger seat. I was returning it. I looked over at it, in passing, and I noticed a face. It was a print that my well-moisturized hands left on it, my palm and my fingers. I looked at it again. It looked like a face, the drawing of eyes staring right at me. I saw my mother’s face in it.

My mom passed 7 years ago, and often think of her, but the memory this handprint pulled out of me, was one of me was the most painful ones. My mind and body went straight into that room, in the last few moments of her life, and I felt my eyes tearing up. I was full of emotions, making a left turn, heading home. I took a deep breath and felt my body, noticed my eyes wet, the tightness in my chest, my shoulders caving in. I took another deep breath and thought My mother was an amazing human being. I said it again. My mother was an amazing human being and I really fell into that.

My shoulders dropped, I noticed my stomach was relaxed and my chest and shoulder really tight, a tension and discomfort that felt so familiar. The thought that maybe I, too, am an amazing human being flooded my mind. I felt into my belly and relaxed my shoulders, took a deep breath in and smiled at the fullness of it.

I did it again, and again, and again. It was exciting as for months now I have been in constant pain around my shoulders and neck. This feels good, I thought. And at that moment something changed. 

What was good about my day? 

My reply would be:

I had a breakfast that I really enjoyed.

I connected with my family by following my curiosity.

I staid present and let the grief wash over me.

I invited new friendships into my life.

I remembered how to let go, how to listen.

I read a while back that you can enrich your connection with friends and loved ones, by asking more specific, genuine questions, than ‘how are you? or how was your day? I was wanting a deeper connection, yes; however, it is not that particular question that had me feel a touch of frustration. I was disconnected from my own experience. I was barely scratching the surface of my day, and my relationship to my day, myself in it. I wanted to deepen my connection to myself, and didn’t even know it.

So often, the people in your life, dead or alive, your whole experience in every moment, be it good, or bad, is teaching you something, it’s reflecting something back at you, for you to see. So, what do you see? If you look back at your day today, how was your day? Good? Is your good, good, enough? How deep are you diving into your experience today?

I would love to hear what you notice. Please share by commenting below.

(with yourself and others)

How was your day? he asked.

Good, I reply. 

What was good about it? he said.

I paused for a minute, scanning my day.

What was good about it?… hmmm… I worked out, I talked to my brother and my dad, I studied, I worked on one of my projects…

What did you study? he asked.

I am figuring out how to offer this free gift to my community online, and how to … and I continued to explain in detail what the class was about, and what exactly I learned. By the end of the explanation, I took a deep breath in and felt rather proud of all the things I managed to do today. I felt productive, and with a sense of pride, I projected that he must feel good too about how productive my day was.

I was glad he asked what was good about it, but there was a feeling of frustration that I was feeling. It wasn’t until later in the car, driving to run yet another errand, that it all made sense.

I was driving and this piece of black metal was resting on the passenger seat. I was returning it. I looked over at it, in passing, and I noticed a face. It was a print that my well-moisturized hands left on it, my palm and my fingers. I looked at it again. It looked like a face, the drawing of eyes staring right at me. I saw my mother’s face in it.

My mom passed 7 years ago, and often think of her, but the memory this handprint pulled out of me, was one of me was the most painful ones. My mind and body went straight into that room, in the last few moments of her life, and I felt my eyes tearing up. I was full of emotions, making a left turn, heading home. I took a deep breath and felt my body, noticed my eyes wet, the tightness in my chest, my shoulders caving in. I took another deep breath and thought My mother was an amazing human being. I said it again. My mother was an amazing human being and I really fell into that.

My shoulders dropped, I noticed my stomach was relaxed and my chest and shoulder really tight, a tension and discomfort that felt so familiar. The thought that maybe I, too, am an amazing human being flooded my mind. I felt into my belly and relaxed my shoulders, took a deep breath in and smiled at the fullness of it.

I did it again, and again, and again. It was exciting as for months now I have been in constant pain around my shoulders and neck. This feels good, I thought. And at that moment something changed. 

What was good about my day? 

My reply would be:

I had a breakfast that I really enjoyed.

I connected with my family by following my curiosity.

I staid present and let the grief wash over me.

I invited new friendships into my life.

I remembered how to let go, how to listen.

I read a while back that you can enrich your connection with friends and loved ones, by asking more specific, genuine questions, than ‘how are you? or how was your day? I was wanting a deeper connection, yes; however, it is not that particular question that had me feel a touch of frustration. I was disconnected from my own experience. I was barely scratching the surface of my day, and my relationship to my day, myself in it. I wanted to deepen my connection to myself, and didn’t even know it.

So often, the people in your life, dead or alive, your whole experience in every moment, be it good, or bad, is teaching you something, it’s reflecting something back at you, for you to see. So, what do you see? If you look back at your day today, how was your day? Good? Is your good, good, enough? How deep are you diving into your experience today?

I would love to hear what you notice. Please share by commenting below.


Tags


You may also like

Leave a Repl​​​​​y

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

Direct Your Visitors to a Clear Action at the Bottom of the Page